tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.comments2023-09-16T05:12:30.511-07:00Unfolding PagesUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger62125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-34981182216241284982011-01-27T03:48:58.361-08:002011-01-27T03:48:58.361-08:00Hey your work is really cool. I started reading th...Hey your work is really cool. I started reading this and decided that I too will start a novel online<br /><br /><br />I am writing it at http://starsletmedown.blogspot.com<br /><br /><br />Please do visit the same and give me suggestions for improvementAbhishekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03633374524540097827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-11417562531491662322010-09-30T08:23:25.199-07:002010-09-30T08:23:25.199-07:00Just found your blog. I'm hooked. I think I sh...Just found your blog. I'm hooked. I think I should start from the beginning though. Have you contacted publishers. i think you have somethingAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-1106364678366647062009-07-13T21:02:31.761-07:002009-07-13T21:02:31.761-07:00surfing blovels, I happened here and was immediate...surfing blovels, I happened here and was immediately pulled in with this first chapter of blood & smoke. Looking forward to unveiling the cause of this mayhemJao Moragoathttp://novel.thailand-usa.com/chimera-triangles/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-67240839732859513292009-07-06T05:37:41.206-07:002009-07-06T05:37:41.206-07:00Hi I like the first chapter. I am going to finish ...Hi I like the first chapter. I am going to finish the novel. Keep on the good work.. :DImmonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-18149751645191199202008-05-08T13:42:00.000-07:002008-05-08T13:42:00.000-07:00Hey, it's funny, but I was doing my normal work st...Hey, it's funny, but I was doing my normal work stuff when it suddenly occurred to me that somewhere around Chapter 15 we lost Paul. Wouldn't he be at Pop's funeral too since Henry had become the main father figure in his life?Allanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09742494779143512692noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-53731513416239848012008-05-08T13:03:00.000-07:002008-05-08T13:03:00.000-07:00The awesomeness continues. I agree with Elise, tha...The awesomeness continues. I agree with Elise, that if your work ever publishes as a printed book, it would be a good read to curl up with.<BR/><BR/>I'm finally caught up and anxiously awaiting the next installment!<BR/><BR/>and on a side note, if you wouldn't mind, could you and maybe one or two of your readers stop by my blog once in a while? I've neglected it a bit, but am going to strive to continue the story again. Some decent critique would be nice now and then. Thanks.Allanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09742494779143512692noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-46054630555649313682008-05-07T09:44:00.000-07:002008-05-07T09:44:00.000-07:00I'm back. Kind of got lost back when you did Chapt...I'm back. Kind of got lost back when you did Chapter 7 - got caught up in other things.<BR/><BR/>I'm up to Chapter 9 and still loving the story. Your storytelling just flows so nicely. I'm envious of your style.<BR/><BR/>I'll catch up soon!Allanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09742494779143512692noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-83176006700050934902008-04-22T21:31:00.000-07:002008-04-22T21:31:00.000-07:00Adam,Just now starting to read your novel. Love yo...Adam,<BR/><BR/>Just now starting to read your novel. Love your use of sentence structure. Your writing flows nicely and has a good cadence.<BR/><BR/>Excellent tension, too. I'm definitely coming back to continue reading.<BR/><BR/>-BizyLizyBizyLizyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12538971707304185980noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-42243937471483941752008-04-03T09:00:00.000-07:002008-04-03T09:00:00.000-07:00This post is amazing! The emotion in it is raw and...This post is amazing! The emotion in it is raw and realistic. I love it xxElisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03358565055136510269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-54368947722848264222008-03-25T06:59:00.000-07:002008-03-25T06:59:00.000-07:00Thanks for your comments on my stories at conversa...Thanks for your comments on my stories at conversationsinscarlet.blogspot.com. I'm glad that you weren't offended by my unsolicited "editorialization" in my earlier message to you; you never can tell how another writer will take criticism! I'll be back to see how things turn out here, and thanks for the link. I've returned the favor on my end as well.<BR/>--Vivian JeanRebecca Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16034196902509431787noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-12878948140589074272008-03-22T09:14:00.000-07:002008-03-22T09:14:00.000-07:00Hi Adam, I enjoyed reading ALL of your posts, and ...Hi Adam, I enjoyed reading ALL of your posts, and will be coming back for more. I was sorry to read of old Mr Sutherland's passing - what a shame. However, I must say it felt like I was reading a work by two or more people (!) at times because the quality and length of the posts varied quite a bit in places. But as novel-blogs go, yours is one of the best ones I've seen. Keep up the good work! J A Glinton (http://theministryofcurrentaffairs.blogspot.com)Beanie 贾扬纽https://www.blogger.com/profile/07720987517807839129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-28957649734215511752008-03-22T08:54:00.000-07:002008-03-22T08:54:00.000-07:00Nice story. I've got to agree with the comment ab...Nice story. I've got to agree with the comment above though I didn't really notice it until she mentioned it. But her suggestion is the same thing I have problems with adn why I've never finished anything because I know after I've written it I have to go back through and edit it for a smooth flow.<BR/><BR/>Keep writing!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-90575920760124818712008-03-18T08:08:00.000-07:002008-03-18T08:08:00.000-07:00You've got an interesting and compelling story goi...You've got an interesting and compelling story going here. My initial reaction (and please understand that this is coming from the perspective of someone who's spent an inordinate amount of time grading undergraduate and graduate papers for grammar and punctuation) is that you could make it a lot more readable with a bit of editing. Again, I think that the ideas and development of your story have great potential, so don't misunderstand! <BR/><BR/>Think about trying to use fewer passive constructions ("Pop's [sic] HAD brought him to life...he HAD BEEN a marine...HAD WATCH [sic] his friends die..."). Try choosing active verbs that will allow you to avoid overuse of the various forms of "to be" (is, was, had/has been, etc.) <BR/><BR/>For example: "Pops brought him to life, made him safe, showed him love, and now as he neared death, Jay watched with a feeling of helplessness. Pops refused to lay in a hospital bed and simply wait to die; he experienced war as a marine and watched many of his friends die in those sterile, lonely places of suffering and death and he vowed never to go that way. He refused to end his life that way, constantly reminded of the way his wife died...etc"<BR/><BR/>Obviously, my suggestion is just that--a suggestion. More to the point: it is only one of many potential solutions. Active construction can keep readers compelled, and it also helps to provide some variety by avoiding reusing the same verbs over and over.<BR/><BR/>Happy writing!Rebecca Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16034196902509431787noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-77909440169621000262008-03-06T06:05:00.000-08:002008-03-06T06:05:00.000-08:00Great job, Adam--I'll have to keep reading! (I als...Great job, Adam--I'll have to keep reading! (I also like your Japan blog--keep posting photos.)<BR/>Suzique<BR/>http://bookwormturns.blogspot.comSuzanne Johnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14180604715572075576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-46020351501187544522008-02-27T15:23:00.000-08:002008-02-27T15:23:00.000-08:00Wow. That's awesome. I like how you write, it's un...Wow. That's awesome. I like how you write, it's unique and descriptive and paints an image for you. when i was reading this first chapter, i could just picture this becoming a blockbuster movie or something. <BR/> <BR/> also it's pretty great to find someone on here writting fiction. about a year or so ago i began posting my fiction novel on here, but then hit a writers block(which has thankfully now been cured). maybe i'll put it back on now.<BR/><BR/> But i'm going to read more tonight definantly. sweet. good luck with everything! =Dsteviewallerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14515523017029610616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-36536392343052800362008-02-26T06:20:00.000-08:002008-02-26T06:20:00.000-08:00You know something Adma I have waited for the cont...You know something Adma I have waited for the continuation of the story for ages! We need another champter. This one is a great starter but we need more!<BR/><BR/>Welcome back babe xxElisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03358565055136510269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-63117764014197680952008-02-21T00:35:00.000-08:002008-02-21T00:35:00.000-08:00More please!GPMore please!<BR/>GPPolgarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09778883002754253095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-37738517286419148482008-01-03T07:43:00.000-08:002008-01-03T07:43:00.000-08:00Just caught up! Can't wait for the next one. Have ...Just caught up! <BR/><BR/>Can't wait for the next one. Have fun down under mate!<BR/><BR/>xxElisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03358565055136510269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-88959172710619973572008-01-02T04:51:00.000-08:002008-01-02T04:51:00.000-08:00yeah I am on holiday in Australia right now so pos...yeah I am on holiday in Australia right now so posting when i can, been a bit tied up catching up with family and friends...thanks for readingJeffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00923784296552545850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-43311675243862177942008-01-02T04:23:00.000-08:002008-01-02T04:23:00.000-08:00Hope we dont have to wait too long for the next ch...Hope we dont have to wait too long for the next chapter!Polgarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09778883002754253095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-31430883641686414012007-12-20T08:12:00.000-08:002007-12-20T08:12:00.000-08:00Just read the whole thing from start to finish and...Just read the whole thing from start to finish and im hooked!Polgarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09778883002754253095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-49749924921824492072007-12-20T07:30:00.000-08:002007-12-20T07:30:00.000-08:00Another wonderfully written chapter. I could easil...Another wonderfully written chapter. I could easily curl up and spend a day reading your books... xxElisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03358565055136510269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-27668940098808868002007-12-10T08:46:00.000-08:002007-12-10T08:46:00.000-08:00I'm supposed to be doing all sorts of things--writ...I'm supposed to be doing all sorts of things--writing cards, laundry, decorating and what happens? You put up Chapter 10! So much for my schedule. Ooh, it's a good one, though that's for sure. What a cliffhanger. Can't wait to see what Sabian has to say. Really good tense stuff, but with just the right poignancy.<BR/><BR/>KatKat Mortensenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16877694888419628533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-49226660551410872432007-12-04T23:28:00.000-08:002007-12-04T23:28:00.000-08:00HI EVERYONE, I HAVE FIX THE PROBLEM WITH THE EMAIL...HI EVERYONE, I HAVE FIX THE PROBLEM WITH THE EMAIL LINK, WORKS FINE NOW FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ME ANYTIME.<BR/>KERIAM I HAVE READ YOUR CHAPTER AND I LIKED IT, IF YOU SEND ME AN EMAIL I WILL REPLY IN MORE DETAIL.<BR/><BR/>THANKS <BR/><BR/>ADAMJeffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00923784296552545850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2568860017494220124.post-21987807562096710732007-12-04T15:39:00.000-08:002007-12-04T15:39:00.000-08:00I am really enjoying your writing. I can't wait t...I am really enjoying your writing. I can't wait to see your name on a book on a shelf in a giant store. Did you get a chance to look at the chapter I sent you? I curious to see if there is any potential there.<BR/><BR/> KeriamKeriamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03207349697336080455noreply@blogger.com